Always mindful of other’s feelings? What about yours?
How often have you caught yourself (at least I hope you’re hearing your voice) saying “it’s ok” when it really isn’t? Why do we do that? Self-esteem has many faces.
For some it is conditioning, women born in the 50’s were mostly taught to ‘not make waves’. It was our ‘job’ to take care of others, no matter the cost to us.
One of the Reiki Ideals talks about speaking the truth or doing our work honestly. I won’t go into depth of what I teach within Reiki, however it applies very much to all of life. Doing our work honestly does not just mean to not screw people or do shoddy work. It also stands for being honest with ourselves. How many times have we been asked to help someone with something, or to take on additional tasks at work, regardless of how we are already overwhelmed with tasks?
To not speak up for ourselves and just inwardly cringe and say “OK” is not being honest – to the one person you should be able to count on to take care you -You. Friends, family, co-workers will come and go, but we need to be able to rely on our own inner knowing and judgment and learn how to gently decline.
Many will let the extra burden pile on until they become ill, overly tired and when bottled up to for long become resentful Then sometimes we act – but not in a kind or appropriate way. Usually by this time it is dealt with in an angry fashion. The anger is good – it alerts us to the fact boundaries have been crossed – but we can’t keep it in. Nor can we use it to lash out at others or ourselves. No point in finger pointing. Try to head this off at the pass by declining initially, or if in the latter stage – take a step back, centre, take a deep breath and approach the other party from a place of caring and self-preservation.
Don’t let life flow through and disappear at the hands of others. Own it.
Go ahead – give it a try. See how liberating it feels!
Feel free to report back with your findings.